My life as a roller coaster

I had an appointment with my OB yesterday and after trying to find the little baby's heartbeat (now the size of an avocado according to my "What to Expect" app) she finally found it up a little higher than the norm.  I told her I felt like things were higher than they should be at my 15 weeks and 3 days mark and she said yeah, she agreed.  She mentioned the baby size and fluid levels and we'd see how they were measuring, etc.  I have a big ultrasound with the perinatologist in 3 weeks...but I already knew what she was saying.  Typically diabetics have bigger babies and we all know this.  It usually starts further along with poor control, elevating blood sugars, etc. but I appear to have taken a potentially early turn.  I have had more trouble controlling things and my doctors worry so much about lows that they tend to let me run a little higher and now I'm afraid I'm seeing the early consequences.  I fought the urge to just up my insulin rates around the board and chase lows all day...I am in fact wearing my sensor which warns me, but I know that's not a good idea, so I didn't.  I worried and fretted for a while last night until coming to the conclusion that I've been doing this so long I've just let go of the need to do it right.  So, I contacted a close friend who just found out she has gestational and asked her for tips she got from her nutritionalist.  I know that eating at designated times and the same kinds or amounts of foods will help both me and baby and make it easier to adjust things in the long run.  Why do we fight this so much?  My need to feel "normal" has always made it so hard for me to follow the rules when it comes to eating.  I want to be able to wake up and skip breakfast or eat a bowl of cereal or bacon and eggs and only have to adjust my insulin according to the number of carbs I eat as any "normal" person's pancreas would do.  Is that too much to ask...apparently for now it is.  So, today I gave in to the fact that I am not normal and I must follow the rules for myself and little baby avocado to be healthy.  I got up and ate a healthy breakfast consisting of about 30 carbs, and spiked up to 226, then ate a sensible lunch consisting of soup, carrots, and string cheese and spiked up to 212, then about 2 hours after lunch I was at 60.  Seriously...seriously???????  What do I have to do?  So, I ate a healthy snack and am maintaining now at 96...we'll see what happens next.  But for today, my body feels like this...