Our Easter Adventure

Well, we lost our ever loving minds and let the kids pick out a bunny yesterday.  This alone was an adventure.  I knew if we looked I would cave, and I was right.  First we went to the local tractor supply store that has had some and they were all sold out.  They still had some chicks, but if you know our history I nixed that REAL quick.  Robby bought us 5 right before I found out I was pregnant with Reagan and I thought I might kill him…oh the fun of being married to this Giordano~LOL! 

Anyway, the lady told us that there were always some at the Mary's Swap Meet, we should try there...interesting place, to say the least.  So we drove out to see what we could find.  There weren't very many people still out, but there was one man with a truck and cases of bunnies, chicks, duck, pigeons, and game cocks (yes in Oklahoma there is still underground cock fighting).  Side note, Robby asked the man how much the game cocks were, the man said $40-70 and then he asked why someone would buy one of those... the man said, "People like to look at them  ;)" and he literally winked at Robby.  Now my husband has on his "list" to attend a cock fight...and he thinks he's found the right person to ask.  Luckily he didn't go into that while we were on this adventure.

So, back to the bunnies, there are 3 large crates with bunnies of various sizes.  We wanted a tiny one that could grow with the kids handling it and be accustomed to our noise and playing.  So we went for the little ones that the guy said were 4-6 weeks old.  There were all different bunnies, black with a white stripe, grey with white stripes, salt and pepper and 2 tiny solid black ones.  They were so cute!  So we decided on one of those that was huddled under some others keeping warm.  This little guy literally is a little bigger than the palm of your hand.  He is all black and just snuggles right up to you.  Reagan was so excited I thought she was going to lose it!  She asked the man what we carry the bunny home in and he gave her a yellow potato sack of some sorts...I wasn't really comfortable with that, so we looked around for a box and found one luckily.  I was envisioning the little bunny pooping in the bag which was filled with small holes...yeah, mess waiting to happen.  So we headed home with our new friend in tow.  We talked about names the whole way and decided it needed an Easter-ish name.  I think Robby suggested Jelly Bean and we all loved it.  Since we don't know if it's a boy or girl, we thought that was pretty gender neutral and cute.  Reagan has since decided it's certainly a boy...not sure why.

So we got Jelly Bean all settled in his new home and introduced him to Boomer, which went pretty well.  He is the sweetest little thing.  He hasn't tried to nip at us at all and snuggles right up to you.  If you pet his head and back he closes his little eyes and even fell asleep on me last night.  He is precious!

So, after we got the kids and Jelly Bean all tucked in for bed, Robby and I filled their little eggs with candy and got baskets and everything ready.  We hadn't watched the weather, but there had been a chance of rain for like 4 days.  It has been cloudy and icky, but no rain yet.  I asked what Robby thought about the eggs and he said, "they're plastic, I'm sure it will be fine if they get sprinkled on...let's just put them outside."  Apparently we should have watched the weather prior to doing this...but we didn't.  So at about 1:30 we hear knocking this noise and I realize it's thunder.  I jump out of the bed and tell him we have to get the eggs.  If it rains badly some of the stuff will surely be ruined, and if it's still raining in the morning that won't be any fun for the kids.  So out I go in my pajama pants in the dark as it's starting to sprinkle on my head.  Robby comes behind...in boxer shorts and we are running around the yard frantically trying to pick up eggs as it's starting to rain on us!  I literally just started cracking up laughing.  I'm sure we looked like fools, luckily I hope no one was looking.  Oh, and did I mention it was dark?  LOL!  We had our own Easter egg hunt, half naked, in the dark at 1:30 in the morning!  Seriously?  Only me!  LOL!!!!  It was hysterical though and we got in just in the nick of time!  Then the bottom let out!!!  I'm so glad we decided to grab them rather than leaving them out though, and we got a great laugh at ourselves in the meantime.  Oh the things we do for our kids! 

At any rate, I hope everyone had a Happy Easter and didn't get stuck in the rain in their underwear  ;) someone might think you were crazy or something! 

My D Day

So I feel off of the wagon with the writing challenge.  Life has been busy and as hard as I tried, I just couldn't keep up everyday, although I'm proud of myself for trying!  I have enjoyed reading the thoughts of other bloggers on various issues. So, today I'm writing about me and my diagnosis.  Today is my diabetes diagnosis day…
It's been 16 years today since I was diagnosed with a life changing illness, 16 years since I could eat without counting a carb or injecting myself with insulin, 16 years...  I was 15...if you do the math that means more than half of my life has been spent poking and sticking and testing and bleeding...I can't believe I've been this way more than half of my life!  I ran some numbers and with an average of 4 test strips a day (I know I'm underestimating especially now with 3 pregnancies and testing 8-10 times a day) I've used more than 23,360 test strips.  With an average of 50 units of insulin a day (again I'm estimating, at the end of pregnancy I'm triple that a day at least) I've used more than 284,800 units of insulin. Since starting on a pump at 18, I've used an estimated 1581 infusion sets and reservoirs.  My insurance company loves me…don't you think?   
So, I was 15 years old and I had been going through some weird stuff.  I kept telling my mom that my boobs were shrinking, which she laughed at of course.  What 15 year old has incredible shrinking boobs (if I could figure out how to do that now I'd buy into it, definitely not the case today at 20 weeks pregnant!)...turns out I had lost about 15 pounds, which on a tall thin 15 year old was a lot and contributed to my shrinking boobs.  I wasn't obsessed with weight at the time and didn't even realize it.  I told her that I thought we should get my eyes checked, it was really weird but sometimes when I was walking down the hall at school people had this hazy fog around them...but it would come and go.  She thought that was odd, but took note and told me we'd go see the eye doctor.  I had never had vision problems, but it was a possibility.  I had days where I couldn't focus, days where I studied and knew information for a test and got to class and blanked out.  I had days where I wanted to do nothing but sleep and couldn't pin point what was wrong or why I felt bad, I just did.  In those few months before diagnosis, I was so thirsty all of the time.  I was proud of myself for drinking so much water, I craved it...there was nothing so delicious, and it's good for you!  It made sense that I was getting up to pee 6 or 7 times a night because I was drinking gallons of water a day, there was nothing weird about that...right?  Then I got a yeast infection...gross...I was 15 and thought this was the worst thing ever to happen to me (if only)...treated it and two weeks later I got another one.  At this point my mom thought there must be something else going on, so she called the doctor and took me in.  They did a pelvic; again, at 15 I thought this was the most horrible thing I had ever been through and again...if only...it got worse.  They took a urine sample, came back in the room and asked what I'd had to eat or drink today.  I told them we had a party at school, and I ate a cupcake and some punch, but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary.  They said I was spilling a lot of sugar in my urine and told my mom we should go get some blood work done immediately...and then they mentioned the word diabetes.  My mom looked like she was going to choke.  Her own mother had type 2 and had a lot of horrible complications which contributed to her death just 4 years prior to this, but that was really our only experience with diabetes.  I felt great that day and thought there was probably some mistake.  Nothing serious could be wrong with me, right?  My mom knew otherwise.  I'm sure she was thinking back over the past few months and realizing that I was showing all of these symptoms...she knew.  So, we went and got our blood work done and went on home.  That night I was jumping on the trampoline when my mom got a call from the doctor's office.  They told her my blood sugar in the office that day was 875 and my 3 month average was 375, they had ordered the insulin, called the endocrinologist and wanted me in their office at 9AM the next morning.  They said since I seemed okay today, they didn't think I would need to be hospitalized, unless there was any crazy turn over night, they said it's better to start dealing with this in real life if you can, and I seemed okay to do that.  Congratulations Shannon, you have a diagnosis that you can never run away from-type 1 diabetes.  My mom burst into tears and ran out of the house.  I guess she didn't want to upset me knowing what I was being sentenced to.  She went to her friend's house and came back a little later, and calmer.  I was certain at that point that I was dying, but she told me otherwise.  She was upset and the next few weeks would prove to be a trying time for sure, but she told me we could get through this, and we did...somehow. 
The next morning was the day of the Oklahoma City bombing, we were getting ready to leave the house for my first injection and crash course on diabetes.  The days that followed, our whole state was a mess and people were crying and suffering, digging through tons of rubble to try to find someone still alive.  That day 168 lives were lost, and mine was changed forever for different reasons, I felt selfish worrying about myself in those moments…but I was.  We went to the doctor and they did my first injection...in my stomach.  I thought I was going to jump off the table when they told me that, and then it didn't hurt...I was amazed...and didn't want to try a new location for weeks for fear it would hurt in the arm or leg.  Of course eventually I tried and it was fine.  People told me they could never do that to themselves, but you'd be surprised what you will do to survive.  People told my mom to be thankful her daughter wasn't buried under the building downtown.  Of course she was glad for that, but we had to grieve our own loss at the same time.  I was told it's like grieving the loss of a part of your body and it was.  There were weeks of denial and anger, depression and fear, and eventually acceptance, but that took time.  It was tough for sure.  Funny, it's been 16 years and sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday.  So, tomorrow while the country remembers the loss of those 168 people in Oklahoma City, a day no one will ever forget, I will also remember the loss of my little pancreas.  It was good while it lasted.  I had 15 years of fun with it, and have had 16 years of fun without it.  Thanks to modern medicine I can get up everyday and lead a mostly normal life and for that I am grateful. 

Day 11~Wikipedia Revision

Today's prompt told us to look at the Wikipedia of your disease and write any revisions that you think you would like to see.  Ironically, I've never read my Wikipedia page before...interestingly enough, it's very informative and helpful.  I think it has a lot of great information and would be a good start for a person just diagnosed with type 1.  I like that it says,
"Type 1 treatment must be continued indefinitely in all cases. Treatment need not significantly impair normal activities, if sufficient patient training, awareness, appropriate care, discipline in testing and dosing of insulin is taken. However, treatment is burdensome for many people. Complications may be associated with both low blood sugar and high blood sugar. Low blood sugar may lead to seizures or episodes of unconsciousness and requires emergency treatment. High blood sugar may lead to increased fatigue and can also result in long term damage to organs."
That little paragraph is very informative to me.  It says that yes, you will in fact be on insulin forever (moss growing in the Amazon isn't going to help you) and that you can lead a fairly normal life, but it's not going to always be easy.  There are complications and taking care of yourself is important...
If I was going to add more detail, I might add more about the different types of treatment, injections vs. a pump, the new continuous monitoring sensors, etc.  It does make mention of a pump at one point, but in no detail.  I have had many people question me about that being implantable or is it something I can take off, etc.  It would be nice for there to be a little more description about these different devices.  Upon looking further though, I found that there is another Wikipedia page about the "insulin pump".  Perhaps a link in the "type 1 diabetes" page to that would be helpful.  It's a great page too in fact! 
Great job Wikipedia

Day 10~Post Secret

Today’s prompt is to write down a secret that isn’t really a secret about your condition…

I have a secret…but I’m sure that anyone who knows me very well…or has ready my blog at all…knows that it’s not really a secret…however it’s something I don’t really like to admit.

I AM NOT PERFECT AND NEITHER IS MY DIABETES!

People look at me and they don’t see a sick person.  I am healthy overall.  I can do most anything that any other person my age can do.  I graduated high school, went to college, got a job, got married, pay my bills, had 2 kids, am pregnant again…I look pretty okay from the outside.  It’s what you can’t see that’s so much scarier.  You can’t always see when my blood sugar is high or low…well, until I start acting like crazy Shannon…I guess she’s noticeable.  You can’t see the damage a 250 is doing to my blood vessels or my optic nerve.  My feet are intact and my heart is pumping strong.  I look like I know what I’m doing and managing quite well…and for the most part that is true…but not entirely.  There are days that I eat and guess how many carbs are in my food.  There are days when my guesses are right on and I’m happy, and days when I’m all over the place because I had no idea how many carbs were really in that Indian buffet that my husband so loves.  Some of my life is a guessing game, a balancing act, and an odd juggling contest.  I wait for the first ball to drop.  Is the next eye appointment going to be the one where they tell me damage of being a diabetic for over half of my life is starting to catch up to me?  Is the next OB appointment going to be the one where they tell me my control hasn’t been good enough and the baby is in distress or has gained a little too much weight?  Is my blood pressure going to start climbing or am I going to start to have tingly feet? 

It’s funny because people look at me and they don’t see a sick person.  They see a person who copes and deals and usually knows what she’s doing and talking about.  People think that I handle it all really well and keep smiling and counting and doing what I do.  People think my family is fortunate that I’m the one that was diagnosed because I am a perfectionist and I am going to always do my best to take care of myself…but they’re wrong.  I’m not perfect and neither is my diabetes.  It has its good days and its bad days…but perfection is only something I could dream of.  It’s a hard battle and one I often wish I didn’t have to fight.  I am a perfectionist, but I’m not perfect and I know that there are things to come and obstacles to overcome.  I wonder how I will handle those defeats if and when they happen.  Perfectionism is a gift…and a curse. 

Day 9~Health Activists Choice

Today we are to write about whatever we want...now that I can manage! 

My first thought today was about my husband and what an integral part of my life he is.  We diabetics need a strong support system.  I've wondered before how people manage living on their own with type 1...it's something I've never done.  I know people do, and I know if I had to I would...but I'm certain there would be phone calls from family and friends at predetermined times around the clock to make sure I was concious...it's just part of my life.

I met my husband in high school and we have been together since we were 20.  He's always known I was a pain in the ass, but I literally asked him before we got married if he was up for the challenge of living with this for the rest of his life...he told me he was, though I'm certain there have been moments he regretted it!
I know what it's like for me to worry about highs and lows, I know the fears that I feel, but it's also my body and I have some sense of control...well, that's a word I'm using loosly...but he doesn't have that.  I know that he has had moments of fear about me driving our kids around.  I had a horrible wreck due to a low when I was 21 and I know that thought is always in the back of his mind.  He thinks about me nursing my baby and passing out and the horrible things that can happen...it's all there in his mind day in and day out.  He does a really great job...most of the time...of dealing with it all.  It has caused some stress in our marriage, and I'm sure it will continue to do so.  A low diabetic is a difficult person to deal with.  He's been punched, yelled at, spit at, he's held me while I had a seizure and poured juice down my throat on many occasions.  A high diabetic is no ball game either.  He's given me shots, listened to me whine, gotten griped at over nothing because of my extra short fuse that day, and picked up a lot of slack when I'm feeling too lazy to do anything.  I'm not gonna lie, he's yelled back and showed his own alter ego, but all in all he takes it in stride and handles my psycho moments like a champ, and our marriage works.
     
Here's where I get all mushy, but I honestly don't know how I'd do it all without him.  My husband is my rock.  He is my support and my teammate.  He helps me when no one else can and has saved my life on more than one occasion.  I am so grateful to have him and truly appreciate everything he does...even though he probably doesn't always realize that.  I wish that everyone had their own version of him in their life...the good and the bad, because he is sweet and kind and helpful and wonderful...he's also a hell of a lot of fun and pretty good to look at if I do say so myself!  I love him!  He is a necessary diabetic accessory for me! 

Day 8~Write a poem where every line is a health question...

What is a low?
Does it make you slow?
How about a high?
Do you feel like you will die?
What is this disease you say?
Do you think about it everyday?
What is that pump you wear?
Does it mean you don't have to care?
No?  You still have to worry and test?
That's the pits, do you make it the best?
Can you still have lots of fun?
Oh yes I can and I have a ton!

Well...that last line isn't a question, but there you go!

Day 7~Leave your health a text or voicemail

My first instinct about leaving my diabetes a text or voicemail is about being mean to it...but that's not really in my nature.  I try to be more of a positive influence, always seeing the good in people and things.  So, then I started thinking about nice things I could say to diabetes...thank you for not taking my life, yet...thank you for the great people I've met and the determination you've taught me...even though you're not a great listener, I feel like we're communicating pretty well right now, let's keep it up...but none seem quite right.  It's like picking out the perfect card for that certain someone when you just don't know what to say.  I'm stumped...anyway, here's what I came up with...

"Hey D, it's me Shannon.  I know it's been a while since we've really had a heart to heart and I'd like to catch up.  I feel like you were really angry with me when I first got pregnant, but after much hard work I think we've come to an understanding.  I'd like to try and keep it that way.  We all do so much better when we can get along.  I know that you want a happy home to reside in and my body isn't going to be happy if you tear it down.  Anyway, thanks for cooperating, I appreciate it.  I'll be talking to you soon when we hit another pregnancy wall and have to have another CTJ meeting.  Until then, stay strong and carry on!"

*a CTJ is what I lovingly call a Come To Jesus Meeting

Day 6~I write about my health because...

I just recently started a blog after reading many others.  I loved the inspiration they showed me and felt the desire to share myself and my story as well.  I loved that someone else was talking about how I feel on a daily basis and knew what I went through.  I thought it was a very therapeutic way to get my own feelings out and if someone else found support and a friend in me like I had in those I had been reading, that was just an added bonus!  I didn’t realize how big this group was until I got in…and I’m just on the surface right now!  I guess the main reason I blog is for me, for my own version of therapy and healing…and then for the feeling of being a part of something.  I don’t have many type 1 friends, so it’s really great to read what someone else says and know exactly what they are talking about. 

Since I started I’ve found so many ways to help and get involved, ways to really advocate for my disease.  There are a lot of things that you forget about when you are living with this every day.   People don’t look at us a sick or suffering and there is a lot of advocacy needed to move toward a cure.  A cure for Type 1 has been talked about for longer than I have been afflicted with the disease and I think sometimes because we have a treatment that we can in fact live with, we get overlooked.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad that I have insulin and a pump and a glucometer, etc.  I’m so glad that I can live a semi-normal lifestyle with this disease, but that still doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve a cure.  Just because we can treat it, doesn’t mean it’s gone and I think sometimes people forget that.  We still face this disease every single day.  Every day I wake up and check my blood sugar…at least 6-8 times a day since I’m pregnant.  I count my carbs, inject myself (with a needle or through my pump) with insulin, I deal with highs and lows and mood swings and sweats.  I get blurry vision and worry about the chance of me causing an accident or worse.  A treatment I appreciate, more than anyone could know, but a cure…man, what a miracle. 

So, I write for me and for all of those others that are dealing with this every day.  I write hoping that someday one of us can make a difference, to one another or even to the world as a whole…   

Day 5~A Health Haiku

I am so not a poetic person, especially fancy ones like the Haiku…write a poem with only 3 lines, a certain number of syllables in each line (5/7/5) and make it meaningful and make sense…seriously?  Who made this up?  But I’m in it and so here I go! 

Actually in my investigation about a Haiku I learned that in the Japanese tradition a Haiku is 17 moras (or on), not syllables, but since I don’t know Japanese or what moras are…I’ll stick with the English version and count my syllables…

Our disease makes us
 sick without showing itself.
Diabetes, yuck!

Insulin, needles,
Meters, Pumps and CGMs
Things I need each day.

My head feels heavy
Glassy eyes, heavy fog, oops
Time to eat a snack.

That’s all I’ve got.  As I mentioned…not a poet!  I feel silly even posting these, so I added some pictures for a little help!

Day 3~Write your own health question & answer

It's funny, it's usually easy to talk about the funny questions people ask you and how they make you feel...until you're asked to do this yourself!
I touched on some in my last blog with the questions not to ask a parent of a diabetic video, so I thought with this one I'd take an approach to more of what applies to my current life situation.

Q:  Should you have kids since you are diabetic?

A:  I'm pregnant with my 3rd child...I sure hope it's okay!  Steel Magnolias is not the tell all when it comes to diabetes and pregnancy.  Shelby, the character in the movie, had serious complications and was told by her doctor not to get pregnant.  I on the other hand have avoided serious complications so far and have not been told that by my doctor.  My heart, kidneys and eyes are in good shape at this point.  We are being watched really closely and hopefully everything will go well, but thank you for your concern.

Q:  Will your kids have diabetes too?
A:  I sure hope not, but that's not up to me!  There are some increased risks that a child of a type 1 will end up with diabetes, I actually blogged about it just the other day here.   However, there are also tons of people who are diagnosed with no family history (me for example).  I certainly hope that no one thinks that I subjected my kids to this impending doom on purpose or something! 

And my personal favorite question and answer from the above video...

Q:  Should you eat that?

A:  There are only two things I cannot eat, poison...and cookies...made with poison. 

Day 2~Abstemious...what?

So, day 2 of the HAWMC Challenge is the new word of the day post.  Go to a dictionary or dictionary website and write a post relating your disease to the word of the day.  So, I went to dictionary.com and found today's word:

abstemious

\ ab-STEE-mee-uhs \  , adjective;

1. Sparing in eating and drinking; temperate; abstinent.

2. Sparingly used or consumed; used with temperance or moderation.

3. Marked by or spent in abstinence.

...and here we go!

There is a lot of misunderstanding about food when it comes to diabetes.  There is a difference in type 1 and type 2 and mine cannot be controlled with diet and exercise.  I don't have to limit what and when I eat for the most part.  People think that I have this disease because I ate too many sweets as a kid, or that since I have this disease, I should remain abstemious of anything with sugar, etc.  I've even had people ask me, "should you have that cupcake?"  Should anyone?  Probably not, but is it any worse for me than you...probably not.  I wear an insulin pump and count how many carbs I eat.  I can eat a cupcake, piece of cake, bowl of ice cream or pasta as long as I know how many carbs are in it and adjust my insulin accordingly.  Now, I know I shouldn't eat these things daily, or sustain on them alone, but neither should anyone else.  Remaining somewhat abstemious is always a good thing, especially if I want to remain healthy and keep my already failing body in tact, but it's not going to kill me to eat a cupcake today either.  I wish that there was more knowledge and understanding about diabetes, especially type 1.  There aren't as many of us and society's knowledge is lacking for sure.   Speaking of that, I saw a funny video recently on YouTube. This is a little spoof on the stupid questions parents of Type 1 diabetics sometimes get...even as an adult, I still hear them and yeah...knowledge is power!  Enjoy!

What NOT to say to the parent of a Type 1 Diabetic

Type 1 Diabetes~The Acrostic Poem

So, I'm new to this whole blogging thing, but have been following a few fellow D bloggers for a while.  I saw a link the other day about April being Health Activist Writer's Month and the folks at Wego Health have issued a challenge!  I decided it might be time for me to try a little challenge, so here I am...starting 2 days late, but that's okay...we can catch up and do this!

Day 1's Challenge-Health Acrostic~write an acrostic for your condition or the word HEALTH. 
I think I'll give that a try, so here we go! 

This disease is called diabetes,
You know there are different kinds?
Pumping is my way of life
Even though it's a trying time.
1 dream that someday there will be a cure,
Diabetics could live without fear.
It could happen with enough advocacy
And talking into the right ear!
But as for now we pump and test
Eat like we should and
Take this disease with the best!
Everyday hoping tomorrow will be better,
So support your diabetic friend with a congressman letter!

I found a link to this letter written by the JDRF asking congress to support the artificial pancreas by signing the letter to the FDA Commissioner for clear guidelines to begin outpatient trials.  You don't have to be a diabetic to do this.  The letter is written for you, all you need to do is fill in your name and information and it will be emailed to your local congressmen and women! 
Here is a link to more information on the artificial pancreas as well if you've never heard of it! 

Thanks!!!!